How to prove Ann Coulter is crazy using Google and a phone.

I’ve always heard that Ann Coulter was crazy, but I wanted to find out for myself. Because of some deep curiosity, or my slight masochistic tendency, I decided to read Ann’s books. So I did something desperate and went to the public library and found three books: Slander, Godless, and Guilty. Then I read and listened, two of the books are audio books. Reading Ann’s books are not easy to get through - especially if you actually bother to read what she says. In the end I think what I have found is worth it, but I know some parts of my soul will never grow back. What I have managed to do is compile a list of all the ways in which Ann is a nutcase as well as all the lies and the ways in which Ann uses them. I manage to do all this using nothing more than the Internet and my landline.

Part 1: Assume a liberal
Ann really only has one book: How liberals have destroyed society. This is the only theme that Ann has. In order to make her argument Ann starts with one big lie. Ann asks the reader to blindly assume a lot about liberal and a lot of it is false. Ann never tries to prove her assumptions; we are just told that they are true. In Ann’s world liberal are “Druids”, who “hate science”, and “deny the existence of God”. Liberal also “hate mankind”, “love Stalin”, are “zealots”, and “hate America and God”. Yes we can hate God while we deny he/she exists. This is Ann’s starting point. She starts with “liberals are nutcases” and just tells us to trust this statement. Here’s a great example of what Ann considers a good argument: “If Hitler hadn’t turned on their beloved Stalin, Liberals would have stuck by him too.” This argument is for why liberal will defend anything hateful. She has no proof of her beginning statement, “liberals are nutcases”, and so anything she says from here will sound crazy. She starts with crazy and moves onto to crazy, all with false assumptions. Ann doesn’t stop at just false assumptions, she continues into something that I don’t think has a word.

Here’s another great argument by Ann: “Colleges pick up where the public schools leave off inculcating students in the religion of hating America and hating God.” This I would usually call generalization, but Ann makes sure her generalizations start at awful. Most generalizations can at least be rationalized, but what Ann says can’t. Her comments serve two purposes; first she makes sure that liberals sound like nutcases. Second she makes the reader believe that all liberals think the same. This kind of argument I don’t think has name, but I would call it lying. The way she argues is rather brilliant because it can be used on any group. Let me show how to use it against Republicans. “Conservatives are superstitious, who hate the earth so much that they are willing to waste money and gas on watching car go around in circles.” These are gross generalizations that can’t be proven. I’m pretty sure that there are Republicans that don’t like NASCAR just like there are liberals that do. I also believe that believing in God does not make you superstitious. Nothing in my sentence can be proven right. Ann, however, has found a great way to do it.

Next time:
Part Two: All for one, and one for all.

1. Ann Coulter, “Godless, The Church Of Liberalism,” [audio CD] Random House Audio.